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  • Candace Chambers-Belida

If He's Mr. Right Why Are You Being Mrs. Wrong?

From childhood, every girl's dream when she grows up in the world is to marry Mr. Right!. For most, if she finds him she has received the most coveted prize there is. It's the ultimate Cinderella dream come true. When a man loves a woman and wants not only to spend his whole life with her, she has most assuredly won his heart. She is his world-Wow. Indeed this is true marital bliss that hearts run after. So why would a woman after finding Mr. Right become Mrs. Wrong? Now that she has everything she has ever dreamed of would she now find that Mr. Right is her Mr. Wrong?

Several reasons come into play when it comes to the shattered emotions that face many women when faced with this issue. The first is her illusion or fantasy of what Mr. Right Is. She has built up in her mind who and what Mr. Right Is. She has well crafted his design and has painted her picture of what Mr. Right Is. Unfortunately, it has become a fantasy a great illusion. Because Mr. Right in her eyes is perfect. He's the perfect husband, lover, father, and provider. When he falls short of her expectations, the pedestal that she placed him on suddenly crumbles.

The reality is that no one in the universe could ever live up to the fantasy in one's head. The man can be intelligent, good-looking, creative, witty, and ever so charming, yet if he has not reached the level in her mind, he still will fall short, and will never measure up and therefore in her misty watered colored eyes, he becomes ultimately Mr. Wrong, when indeed, rather she has become Mrs. Wrong.

The second reason that this issue surface is because Mrs. Wrong, is too busy looking at other women's husbands. Filled with "Buyers Remorse," she feels again after having afternoon brunch with her BFF's that her Mr. Right, is not living up to her own friend's Mr. Rights life and lifestyle. Her Mr. Right is not romantic enough, not the provider, and just not on the same course as the other Mr. Rights, in the world. What a crazy world of confusion she is in. Fantasy can never live up to reality and your friend's husband can not be measured by your reality. We immediately are at a deficit when we try to compare and measure our circumstance to someone one else.

The old saying that "The Grass is Greener on the Other Side of the Fence" is an illusion. When you start thinking that you made a bad decision or wrong choice based on what other people have is a slippery slope to losing what you really have.

The saving grace for a beautiful relationship is acceptance. Accepting the person as they are, and not trying to mold them into what you want them to be. Instead of thinking that something is wrong with them, could it be that your perception of someone's character and personality is what's off? When you don't let a person be free to be who they are, you are no longer in a free-flowing love relationship. Love is unconditional with the ups and downs, the quirks, and the mishaps of life. That's what makes falling in love, crazy love, and such an incredible adventure filled with true joy and happiness. So if Mrs. Wrong, looked inside herself and realized that her unrealistic demands and perceptions of what Mr. Right is, is the very thing that is destroying the beauty and goodness of the relationship. She will come to realize and hopefully before it's too late that "Mr. Right is and was Mr. Right All Along."



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